To be a child growing up with alcoholic parents is a bizarre experience, in my belief this is because young children don’t realise their parents are acting any differently to anybody else. This is not to say shocking events that happen as a result of alcohol or drugs aren’t remembered – they certainly are – it’s just that its not until the child gets older that they begin to realise screaming rows and all the other things that come with a substance misusing parent aren’t actually normal behaviour. I grew up with parents who both drank very heavily. Due to this, they would argue often and dramatically, destroy each others possessions and regularly turn on each other. But to me, policemen and refuges didn’t seem particularly out of the ordinary. My brothers and I were lucky as we very rarely became involved in these arguments. We would sit in my eldest brother’s bedroom and he would play the guitar, trying to ignore what was going on outside. It was difficult growing up terms of home life spilling into school life and friendships but I’ve on the whole found most people incredibly understanding. I’ve been very lucky as I’ve always had a close network of aunties, uncles, cousins and friends who have been tremendously supportive. I now live with my Dad – who has been sober for about seven years – and my Step-mum and brother. I’m planning to take a gap year and go onto university. My unusual childhood has made me incredibly grateful for the relaxed, happy atmosphere I live in now. I genuinely believe children can come through a “mad house” brought about by drugs or alcohol. In my experience will find a route of escapism, which can manifest itself in pursuits such as music, art, literature or video games. Unfortunately, escapism can also take the form of repeating parents’ dangerous behaviour’s and its terrible for siblings and parents to watch when this happens. I feel that if families can learn to be more open about these problems, they could be prevented passing onto the next generation and I hope to work with people, who, like I did, can benefit from a supportive network.
(From West Sussex Family & Friends Project newsletter)
