I thought I would write on here to sort of get out my feelings about what happened tonight.
I had a row with mum tonight over her drinking. I had to go round there straight after work because she had the Police round because the bloke she was seeing had beat her up so she called them on him. when they left I said she could come back to my house so she didnt have to be alone and I could help her take care of my little brother for the night while she gets her head around it! She had already had a little to drink before the Police got there so she was a little drunk! When the Police left she was in a right state so I wanted to take her back. She wanted to drink the rest of her wine which was about half a bottle so I said no she has had enough and I didnt want her to be drinking at mine, so I then hid it! She through a tantrum about it and wouldnt leave until I told her where it was in the end I gave it to her, well sort of shoved it at her, and walked out crying and shouting and swearing at her! I went back after I had calmed myself down and she was ready to go and I thought I had actually got through to her. We then went to get in the car and she said something about her bag and I looked and she had hid the bottle of wine in her bag and it had tipped upside down and soaked the whole of her bag, but I realised she had still taken it and not listened to me and didnt seem bothered! In the end I ended up breaking down in tears and sobbing, she said she was sorry and that she doesnt mean to hurt me and she hates herself for doing it.
I know that this is probably a hard time for her what with her being beaten up, but I thought if maybe I looked after her or she felt like there was someone to take care of her then she would listen. I love my mum so so much but its so frustrating that I cant help her and that she wont listen to me! my close friends who know a little of the situation say to me that you cant help someone who doesnt want to be helped or make someone admit a problem when they dont think they have, but I need to get through to her. I dont want her to carry on like this!
She is at my house now and she is still a little tipsy (she talking to my boyfriend while I write this, they dont know Im on here) but hopefully I can sober her up and talk to her!
Sorry to ramble on again. xx
