Children of Addicted Parents and People

my dad has had a drinking problem for years this weekend so far even though it is only saturday evening has been one of the worst so i looked to the internet for things to do to help.
i came accross nacoa who suggested that i try this website for help and support of other young people.
i am at breaking point and feel so so alone i just need someone else to talk to who knows what it feels like or could at least begin to know what its like.
even though i am not technically classed as a child anymore as i was 18 a week ago this was the only way i could find to admit to the fact i live a house with a dad who drinks himself into nothingness upsets everyone then passes out and sleeps it off, before waking up and suffering extreme paranoia asking whether or not everyone still loves him. he gets up about 5am does whatever he wants then makes everyone else gets up picks at everything everyone does and takes his first beer from the fridge at about 11am ish. by evening he is totally wasted and reduces everyone to tears.
before now i have had a laptop computer physically thrown at me, and a cream cake shoved into my face whilst my dad just sat and laughed.
this weekend he has screamed in my face, and sat and picked at me for a few hours watching tears stream down my face as i try so hard not to show to him how he makes me feel.
last night at midnight i was sitting on my bed with my head buried in my hands under a pillow crying so hard i could hardly breathe i dont know who he is he wasnt part of my childhood a great deal due to the fact he use to work away but now he's home more but to me hes just a stranger that comes into my house drinks all the alcohol he can find upsets everyone and then passes out before disappearing again.