Children of Addicted Parents and People

I think the hardest part is trying to understand why my mum doesn't see what she is doing to herself or her family!

My mum was the perfect mum she baked cakes took us to the park was over protective everything you secretly as a child love. Then the alcohol took over and I hardly reconise that women now, every now and again I see a small glimse of her but I know that it wont be long till the monster is back. My mum is a wonderful women until she is drunk. I think anyone with alcoholic familys can understand this to some extent. I love my mum sooo much and sometimes wish I could hate her as a lot of other user have said about there familys because I think it would be easier.

I hardly know what story to tell you about what my mum has done when she is drunk because there are so many. She has attacked me verbally and mentally and fisically. She rarely hit me but when she did it was really bad I had a black eye a scar on my neck where she had strangled me and cut me with her ring. She hit me around the face with a pan. All of which she didn't know she had done in the morning.

I wasn't the best of teenages I apprieciate that, I wanted my mum to be how she had been when I was little. no one understood my sister lived with my dad I told them about the concerns I had about my mums drinking but no one believed me they thought I was lying to get attention; if only I had been.

She throw me out in the middle of the night in only a nighty when a was around 13 or 14. I went home later that night when she had passed out of the drink.

When I was about 15 I had to leave my mums home because my step dad had attacked me had I had a bust lip and black eye. My dad had made me go to the police and tell them what happened. The hardest question the police asked me was where was your mum while this was happening; and I had to say she was in the other room to out of her face to now what was happening I remember screaming for her to help me and she did nothing!! She didnt even know anything had happened the next morning.

I had my own flat by 16! My mum is still working and has a decent job. She has always felt really guilty about what she has done to me and basically thrown money at me. Which, I think she does so I still rely on her and don't leave her she is really scared of being aloan. Although she has never been left she left my dad then she later left my step dad as a result of his behavior towards my sister who had moved in with my mum by then. It hurt so much she could do it for my sister but not me.

Well I'm just rambling now I told you I didn't know where to start because when I do I can't stop and the things just get worse and worse. But I still remember when I was a small child and everyone was jelous of my mum because she was there, she was brilliant and to the outside world and to me she really was.

Her behavior has detrioated and she has started being more drunk more often and infront of more people. Everyone now noes my mum has a drink problem appart from her.

The final straw for me came yesturday when she was sent home from work for smelling off beer and not being able to drive her van home. She thinks work are picking on her, she doesn't eccept that any off this is her doing. the first thing she did when she was got home was have a drink. I don't understand this. If I was ever sent home from work for smelling of alcohol the first thing I do was get rid of all the alcohol in my house and not drink for at least a month!

She wasn't going to tell anyone appart from me and her new boyfriend (who is brilliant) but far to soft with her, because she didn't want anyone to have ago at her and thought I was going to understand I dont know why she would think I would think this is acceptable behaviour. I don't know why its hurt me so much that her work has started to notice this because I knew it was bowd to happen soon I think it because I realised how bad its really getting. I told my nan and sister but I'm to embarresed to tell anyone else waht is happening.

My mum said today that she doesn't have a drink problem!!! This brakes my heart I want to stop my mum from getting any worse and its so fustrating that theres nothing I can do.

I told her that I didn't want to speak to her again till she was completely sober as I cant watch her do this to herself anymore I love her to much to watch her slip more and more into this monster. I have a 16month beautiful boy who loves his mamma so much but I don't want him to be around her anymore I just can't take it and I can't trust her to have him without me being there because of the drink.

Please someone tell that there parent or parents got better went back to how there used to be. I just want my mum back!!