Hi
Since a teen, im now 23 my mum has been a single parent bringing me and my brother and sister up my dad wasn’t around much at that time, because there marriage had broken down and my dad was having his own drink problems. Which I don’t think could of been easy for my mum, but I just feel looking back my emotionally needs just weren’t met, when I needed them to be met most of all. I felt like a pet that just had the basics provided for it, food and roof over its head.
I feel like my mum made the situation harder, by the way she dealt with it, drinking.
My auntie was in the same situation single parent but managed to be there for her children to support and meet all there needs, this does make me quite envious of my cousins and resentful towards my mother.
As much as I try to realize and accept it wasn’t her fault, because of the alcoholism I missed out on quite a few things and had quite a horrible time as a teenager, and wanted to take my own life on a few occasions. I remember my mum being a good mother before she started to rely on drink. I worry its causing her health problems, not helping her mental health and causing her to get into debt. I wish she could stop and I want to her help, save her almost.
My mum avoids talking about her problem and I think it can be easy to go along with that, because there isn’t much anyone can do, if she isn’t willing to change. It’s almost become normality. But I know it’s not right and it’s not going to go away, but will only get worse in time I want to make her realise and change before it’s too late.
She has justified her drinking by saying its a means of relaxing, and most recently in a argument with me, that it was none of my business what she spent her money on, which angered me a lot alcoholism isn’t called the family disease for nothing.
I worry my parents will die before there time and I want a happy ending, for them to stop and enjoy life fully and be happy. But that probably isn’t realistic I don’t think they will ever change.
Thanks for reading.
