Hi, this is the first time i've properly spoke about my mums addiction to alcohol as it is something i find very hard to talk about. My mum has been drinking on and off for about 10years. She went through periods of being ok and others of drinking heavily but about 2years ago admitted she was an alcoholic and started going to AA meetings which helped at first but after 6months of being sober she started drinking again. This went on until she was really bad last summer and my step dad at the end of his teather sent her to a private rehab clinic in which she stayed 28days. This was the best i had ever seen my mum - it really worked wonders, yeah it was hard and she still went to meetings but i was proud of her. However after about 5months she broke out and ever since shes been dabling so to speak, although she still does attend meetings and go to the clinic once a week. My mums drinking really affects me and after she had been doing so great for her to start drinking again really hurt to say the least. I dont really know how to express this hurt. I just cant bare to see her in the state she was in before, she really was at 'rock bottom' she even attempted suicide. Meanwhile i was sitting my highers and didnt just have to cope with the stress of exams but also the stress of having a alcoholic mother, although my step dad does do his best to keep everything stable. I just cant cope with all that again especially with exams in may and getting the grades to get into uni, where i should hopefully be going in september - my mums drinking is just one pressure too many. I feel so angry with her - why is she doing this to us, to herself? She is the most considerate, fun-loving woman when she is sober but when shes drinking its like shes someone completely different. I cant stand her when shes drinking and i always end up arguing with her over it, i just cant control my anger when it comes to that. Sometimes, in fact quite a lot, she blames me for her 'break outs' but i know thats not true. She even manipulates my step dad to think its my fault and he ends up blaming me too but he eventually sees sense. I dont know how i'd cope with her on my own if he left but i dont think he knows what else to do it seems like we've tried everything - even the expemsive rehab didnt work! It seems like my only option is to move out when i go to uni but thats not going to help her, thats not going to cure her alcoholism.
Please talk to me if u can relate, i'd appreciate it
Thanks .
