hi im new to all this im a 28 year old female and my mum as been an alcoholic all my life but she has now got to the point of no return shes dieing before my eyes growing up i lived in a normal family older sister younger brother mum and dad i dont think i noticed what mum was doing till i was about 7or 8 when we would find empty bottles all over the house but back then she would hide it from everyone it really came to a head in my teens when we made her talk about it and all her family found out about what she was doing my dad always knew but he worked as a chef so was gone for long hours back then we all tryed every thing to get her to stop we've talk,cryed,had fights and locked her in rooms nothing worked then 11 years ago my beloved dad died in a car accedent and it broke my life in 2 my dad was the one good parent we had he was are rock and my mums first love they where married for 22 years after that my mum gave up altogether within the first year she went down hill at 17 years of age i was picking my mum off the floor nearly every day getting her dressed cos she'd wet her self by this time my mum had lost control of every thing first she went yellow then green she lost control of her bowels and couldnt get off the sofa thats when we called in the doctors and my mums sisters(she has 3) we where only young and didnt know wot to do we forced her to eather go to a detox clinic or she would be commited she chose the detox she was there 3 days before they had to send her to hospital cos her body was shutting down for 12 weeks she stayed and didnt drink she got her self better it was the best time ever i loved my mum she was doing well then one night 4 weeks after coming out i walked in on her with a bottle of vodka in her hand i flipped after everything we had done for her we where back to were we had started she just got worse from there. when i turned 21 i met my parnter and i had my first child i really thought she would change for her granchild but she didnt and shes just got worse for the past 4 years now iv not cared wot she dose that may sound nasty but iv had it all my life and i now have my own family to look after for the past 2 years iv not let her be on her own with my childen she scares me as she is losing her memory. i now avoid going to see her as she makes me mad she is very selfish when drunk and i will only end up screeming at her and i dont want my kids to see that there is nothing i can do for her she wont let us for a few weeks now my brother and sister have been telling me she is ill again (as she gose a yellowy green colour)i went over to hers last week to help my sister with something and when i saw mum she shocked me her eyes are yellow and her skin is green i wanted to cry. we have talked to my mums sisters about it and none of us think we can do any thing we have had to tell them to prepare them selfs for her dying its a hard thing to have to do but we really have tried everything. i find everything about my mum hard i love her to bits as she was a good mum once apon time but i also get mad as i feel i lost the wrong parant when my dad died after i wished it was her that makes me feel guilty and its that i cant cope with. how can i wish my mum dead its the worst of the worst but life gose on and u have to cope im lucky i have a bother and sister to share the burdon with i have the best kids and partner and a good mother figuire in the form of my partners mother she has shown me wot a true mum is really like i will be more upset when she gose then when my own mum dose. i feel good sharing my story with u and i hope it helps who ever reads this know ur not alone it happens to alot of people growing up i always thought it was just me just my family we didnt have any thing like this so if u want to talk to someone who understands get talking on here
thanks for reading my story XSHELLX
