Hello, I'm 14yrs old.
I thought i'd post something about what its like to like with my mum, who has been an alcoholic for most of my life.
It must have started before i can remember, but a good guess would be around abouts when my two brothers were diagnosed with Limb Girdle Muscular Distrophe. I was about 6 or 7, when my mum started drinking. I think it happened in quite a short amount of time, before it became a real problem. A while ago, when she was sober, she was the best mum in the world, so kind and like the real person she was behind the drink. But somethings changed now, its very rare that i will see the old person she used to be, and its rare that i even see her sober most of the time.
My dad has never left, he wants to stay here for me and my brothers because we dont really have anyone else that wants to get involved and help us, i think its because nobody knows what to do. So i suppose its okay just to leave us seeing as its our problem.
I think the worst thing is what she looks like when shes drunk, not a lot of people understand if their parents arent addicted to alcohol but my mum facially twitches and its really distressing to watch. Its like the drink does something to her nerves and it makes her look like a totally different person.
In some ways i can understand why she drinks but i cant understand why she cant see what its doing to our family and the people in it, and tries to stop.
My dad made her go to rehab for only 2 weeks, and i had little faith that it would work. She came out and stopped drinking for about 11 weeks, and it was the best 11 weeks of my entire life and i was the happiest id been in so many years. On my little brothers birthday she got hammered. It was one of the worst in years. She was also having an affair with a heroin addict.
She seems to do it on birthdays and christmas and easter ect.
Aside from the facial twitches the worst thing is the lying, for example we were arguing and she told my dad that i said to her "you were shagged up against a wall" which i did not.
He asked me and i told him id never say that. This morning she had already had something to drink and i asked her why she lied, and her response was "your a liar." I dont think i can ever win with my mum now, shes in too deep and messed up too badly from the drink to make a proper comeback and be the person she used to be.
It makes me cry sometimes when i think about how she used to be before the boys were diagnosed. She lied that she was raped and had bulimia and everything a child doesnt want to hear. But she doesnt care, she does it so that shell have a reason to drink, and that its never her fault.
I could go on forever about it, and the frustrating thing is that i could never express totally how it makes me feel and what wreck it has caused. I feel sorry for anyone in the same position as me, because nobody deserves to be treated that way.
